I Dropped My Kid at College, and I’m Pretty Stinkin’ Happy About It.

I have a confession to make. I dropped my kid at college, and I’m pretty stinkin’ happy about it.

Last week, I dropped my oldest off at college. In the days leading up to the drop-off and throughout the day-of, friends kept checking in with me to ask how I was holding up. Sending my first born off to college is a big deal, after all. And I will admit that while I loved hearing from all of my people, I think they expected me to be wistful in some way. Reasonable expectation, for sure. But wistful is not where I am. Like–at all.

When it comes to leaving their kid at college, I know that some parents really struggle with the goodbyes. The parent Facebook page for my son’s university has been chalked with parents of freshmen asking for advice from veterans for how to handle the separation pains. Maybe they have easier kids than I do. Or maybe I’m still in denial….or just plain naive. But for my part, the whole “he’s going to college” process has made me incredibly happy–happy for my son, because he is so genuinely excited about the adventures before him, happy that he will have so many, many opportunities to problem solve and grow that he could never get under my roof, and frankly happy for the peace and cleanliness that has already fallen on my house in his absence. (On the regular, that kid leaves a trail of forgotten belongings, dirty dishes, and open drawers in his wake!)

If you have worked with me or heard me speak to a room of parents, you’ll know one of my go-to reminders is that “parents’ hearts walk around inside of our kids,” a truth that can cause feelings ranging from helplessness to heart-swells of pride and joy.

For me–for now–my heart is happy…because my strong-willed, extroverted, untidy son is settling into his new home away from home, and because my own home is now a tad less chaotic with him not in it. (For the record, my household is also way less funny. He’s messy, but he’s also hilarious.)

And here’s one more confession: as a parent, I have a tiny bit of guilt about my happiness. I mean what parent says they are happy their kid has flown the coop?

I guess this one–a parent who loves her kid with her full heart, who appreciates his humor, good nature, and persistent optimism, who is thrilled about all the ways he is bound to grow, and who, for the past 18 years, has never had so tidy a house.