How to have a ‘you screwed up’ conversation with your teen
You’re tired of having the same conversation over and over again with your teen.
No matter what you do or say, you can’t seem to go a single day without some type of issue.
But here’s the truth:
This is not the way it has to be. There is a better way to have corrective conversations and help your kids change their behavior. You just need someone to show you the right way to talk with your teen and break the cycle.
That’s why I created my free video guide:
When you learn how to have a “you screwed up” conversation, you’ll…
- Feel confident when it’s time to talk with your teen.
- Have clarity on exactly what to say.
- Be able to keep your emotions in check.
- Maintain connection and build trust with your child.
Download Teen Savvy’s FREE guide to Homework Harmony
Do you want to know what’s holding your teen back from homework success?
Hint: It’s not because your kiddo is lazy.
One of the most frequent issues raised by my parent coaching clients is their teen’s approach to school.
- Some kids wait until the very last minute to get started
- Others are doing a mediocre job when they have the potential for much more.
- Some kids are opting out of homework all together, only to confront a backlog of unfinished assignments at the close of the marking period.
- And some kids get so spun up about getting everything just right that they either obsess over their work or put it off until they believe they can, perhaps, achieve perfection.
Sound familiar?
If you’re anything like the parents I work with, there’s a good chance you spend many of your evenings feeling angry and exasperated with your teen.
You’re sick of nagging your teen to do their homework and worried about the damage this is doing to your relationship with them.
This is tough stuff.
These are the dynamics that turn parents into nags, family members into adversaries, and can, over time, create friction and conflict in the parent-child relationship. No one wants any of these outcomes.
What I know from over two and a half decades in education is that there are always reasons for kids’ (sometimes maddening) behaviors. When you understand these reasons AND have the communication tools to intervene effectively, everyone wins.
That’s why I created this FREE resource:
Beyond Nagging: Empowering Parents to Transform Homework Headaches
In this FREE guide, you’ll discover
- The four most common reasons your teen avoids their homework and what to do about it
- A deeper understanding of your teen and what’s getting in their way when it comes to homework completion
- Specific parenting strategies you can implement right away to support your teen, without starting a fight
If this sounds like a resource you need in your life, enter your email below, and then keep an eye on your inbox.
Check out the latest on Sam’s podcast: Parenting Shrink Wrapped
Teen Savvy Coaching Podcast Appearances
Articles and publications
The price of popularity
In this piece for Waypoint Wellness Center, the therapy practice where I work part time, I share a bit about the price of popularity for teens and tweens. Many kids are under the mistaken assumption that being popular is a ticket to social well-being. That’s not always the case.
The Crisis of Comparison Culture
Research on social comparison suggests that when humans perceive inequity, we suffer. Regardless of the objective differences between one group and another, the mere perception that we are a “have not” can lead to poor health outcomes and increased anxiety. Feeling “less than” triggers a similar anxiety response in our brains and bodies to the one that occurs when we face a physical challenge or scary event. Read on to learn about the dangers of comparison culture at the teen and parent levels.
Teenboozled: Same Body, but who’s Living inside today?
When it comes to raising a teenager, parents often report a certain amount of suspense. The same person shows up in their kitchen each morning, but they never quite know who’s living inside. Here’s some advice to respond to your teen’s mood swings.
Tipping the Anxiety Scale: A School’s Strengths-Based Approach.
In this piece for the National Association of Independent Schools’ Independent Ideas Blog, I share some small but mighty steps educators can take to reduce anxiety in their classrooms. And parents, some of this advice works at home, too!
Holding What We Can’t Fix: How Parents Build Safety, Regulation, and Trust Through Adolescence
In this article on Thrive Global, I remind parents that we can’t fix our teen’s pain—but we can create safety, regulation, and trust by staying present, steady, and curious even in the face of big emotions. It offers practical perspectives on nervous system regulation, communication that de-escalates conflict, and how boundaries and repair build connection through adolescence.
Grown & Flown Publications
Click here for a link to the articles I have written for Grown & Flown, one of my favorite parenting websites for launching independent young people.
