Keeping Your Teen Off Screens Without Losing Your Mind

Surviving the Summer Tech Vortex

Ah, summer! The season of sun, fun, and… a seemingly endless screen time battle with your adolescent–particularly younger adolescents. They’re too old for summer camp and too young for a summer job, so how do you keep them from transforming into screen zombies while you’re at work? Here’s your sanity-saving guide to keeping your adolescent active and engaged (and not glued to their devices).

Focus on the DO’s: The Fun Stuff

Instead of waging a war against screen time, consider redirecting that energy towards positive actions. A friend of mine is an intuitive eating-based dietician.  She tells her clients not to focus on eliminating or banning certain foods.  Instead, she suggests they focus on ADDING nutrient-rich options such as veggies and proteins.   Similarly, you might not need to ban screens. (Most kids jump right into resistance mode whenever they encounter a “DON’T”.)  Instead, focus on adding activities that will serve your teen, your family, and the community.  Place your emphasis on the “DO’s” for their summer. 

DO Move Your Body

Challenge your kid to get some exercise. Whether it’s dancing, running, training for their fall season, or just jumping around, getting moving is crucial. Bonus points if they can do it without looking like a TikTok video!

DO Read Something 

Ideally, your kids will read something in hard copy and NOT from a screen (which studies show improves comprehension, by the way). Books, magazines, even cereal boxes—anything they can hold in their hands counts.  

DO Connect with Friends IRL (That’s “in real life” for those of us who still send texts with full words and punctuation marks.)

Encourage them to hang out with friends in person. Yes, connecting with friends through the Playstation is compelling, but there’s something about sitting around a fire pit, listening to music, and eating junk food that can’t be replicated by screaming to your friends on NBA2K.   Of course, this means you might have to be willing to host at your house, so get okay with the idea of loud teens staying up later than you and eating all of your junk food. 

DO Household Contributions

Assign some chores. It builds character and helps kids feel like they are accomplishing something important–even if they balk at the suggestion (and they will). Yup– vacuuming can be a growth experience. 

DO Tackle the Tough Stuff

Teach them to do one unpleasant task a day. Whether it’s summer reading, organizing their sock drawer, or going for a morning jog, it’s like spinach for their willpower.  Screens make all of us instant gratification junkies.  Perseverance is a muscle that must be built with exposure.  

DO Learn to Cook

Challenge your teen to make at least one meal per seek. They plan, (you probably do the buying),  they cook, you get to eat. Win-win!

DO Volunteer

Get them involved in community service. Here again is an opportunity for your teen to feel like they are making a difference; teens (and all humans) benefit from feeling like they matter. 

Positive Screen Time: Because I’m a Realist

Limiting screen time is great–and important; but if I’m being honest, I have to acknowledge that kids are going to be on screens and online. Here’s how to make that time count.

DO Lift Others Up

Encourage your teens to be the positive force on social media and in group chats. Compliments and kindness go a long way.

DO Create as Well as Consume

Motivate them to create content, not just consume it. Blogging, vlogging, or even meme-making.  There is some risk in putting something out there on-line, and being a creator can teach kids the importance of being purposeful in their on-line presence. 

DO Build a Stellar Reputation

Remind them their online persona matters.  A good rule of thumb I used to tell my own kids is that whatever they post should be “Grandma-appropriate.”

DO Tune Into Their Body

Teach them to recognize when they’re getting agitated or tired from too much screen time. And give them props when they listen to their bodies.  They are equipped with a human alarm clock that says, “Take a break!”, and it’s a wonderful thing when kids can tune into it. 

DO Follow Positive Accounts

Help them curate their feeds to follow uplifting, mentally healthy accounts. Unfollow the high-drama, high-conflict, high-comparison-driven accounts.

Opportunities for Growth (and Keeping Your Sanity)

Focusing on the DO’s opens up fantastic opportunities:

• Planning and Calendar Management: Incorporating the various “Do’s” allows you and your teen to collaborate on their schedule. They learn to plan, you get fewer surprises.
• Reinforcing Family Values: Use these activities to highlight what’s important in your family. Reminding kids over and over about your values is foundational for helping them develop strong decision-making skills.
• Building Relationships: Remark positively on their efforts when they tick off a DO. “Nice run!” or “Great job on your room!” builds trust and encourages more good behavior.  It also lets your child know that you SEE them, another foundational need of teens. 

The Tech Trap: Teen Edition

Here’s another option to get your teen to cut back on screen time on their own volition: appeal to their sense of rebellion. Explain how social media companies profit from your teen’s attention without caring about their well-being.  It’s like telling them they’re being played by The Man. No one likes being duped, especially not teens.  I like to remind my teen clients that lots of industries make money when they feel crummy about themselves: the beauty industry, the fashion industry, the diet industry, the wellness industry to name a few, all of whom put ads and influences all over social media so users will find their products right when they’re feeling low enough to purchase them. 

By emphasizing these DO’s, you have a better chance at helping your teen have a productive, screen-balanced summer. Plus, you might just keep your sanity intact. Here’s to a summer filled with growth, learning, and a little less screen-induced zombiehood!