Horses, Parenting & Presence: Lessons from the Ring

If you’ve ever seen your teen react like a startled horse when asked about missing homework, you’re not alone. Teens and horses have more in common than you’d think—and when parents gain insights and understanding those reactions can help build stronger communication.

In our latest episode of Parenting Shrink Wrapped, we’re exploring what horses—yes, actual horses—can teach us about parenting teens. It’s not as far-fetched as it sounds.

We sat down with Maria Alessandri, founder of the Horse and People Project and mother of five, to talk about the incredible parallels between natural horsemanship and conscious parenting. Through her unique work pairing humans with horses, Maria helps parents learn to lead with calm authority, connect through authenticity, and—most importantly—show up with presence.

What do Horse-inspired insights have to do with teens?

Teenagers, like horses, are highly sensitive to energy, body language, and emotional authenticity. They don’t respond well to control or inconsistency—but they do respond to calm, clear, attuned leadership.

Sound familiar?

Maria shares one story about training a horse who resisted aggressive, dominance-based methods. When she changed her approach—leading with partnership instead of power—everything shifted. And then she realized: the same strategy worked with her kids.

Parenting Teens Is About Presence, Not Perfection

Maria’s insights offer a powerful reminder that our relationship with our teens isn’t built in one conversation—it’s built over time, through how we consistently show up.

Here are a few of our favorite takeaways from the episode:

• Your energy matters. Teens (and horses!) can feel when you’re anxious, angry, or inauthentic—even if you’re smiling on the outside.
  
• Less pressure, more presence. Sometimes, your teen just needs you nearby—not asking 20 questions, not solving problems, just being there.
  
• Say no with clarity. Maria helps parents reclaim their “no”—making it firm, but not harsh; consistent, but not constant.
  
• Don’t retreat, redirect. Like in horsemanship, setting boundaries isn’t about overpowering your child. It’s about guiding them with intention.
  

And perhaps the most touching moment? When Maria noticed her teenage son backing out of the kitchen like a nervous horse, she realized she’d become the mom her son wanted to avoid. That moment changed everything.

Want to Learn More?

🎧 Listen to Episode #21: Horses, Parenting & Presence: Lessons from the Ring
👉Parenting Shrink Wrapped 

Whether you’re parenting a fiery thoroughbred or a gentle grazer, this episode is full of insights to help you parent with more clarity, calm, and connection. 💡Need to know how to have a better conversation with your teen? Grab my free video guide. Find other helpful information on the resources page.

Because when it comes to raising teens, showing up is half the battle.