Parenting Teens Through Substance Curiosity: How to Stay Their Safe Person

Parenting teens and substance use has changed dramatically in the last decade. Today’s teens are navigating vapes that look like flash drives, marijuana products with far higher potency than past generations ever encountered, and gas-station synthetics like kratom that are shockingly easy to get. The result is a landscape that feels more complex—and more confusing—than most parents ever expected.

In this episode of Parenting Shrink Wrapped, Sam and Dr. Melissa sit down with clinician Allison Scarinzi, LCSW-C, founder of Lotus Psychotherapy, to unpack what parents need to know about parenting teens and substance use in 2025.

The New Substance Landscape for Teens

While alcohol used to be the top concern for parents, today’s teens report far more exposure to vaping and marijuana. These substances are easier to access, harder to detect, and marketed directly to young people through social media and peers. Even kids without mental health challenges may try substances out of curiosity or risk-taking.

At the same time, some teens turn to substances as a way to cope with anxiety, trauma, or stress. Allison explains the overlap between mental health concerns and substance use—and how families can respond without panic or shame.

Start the Conversation Early

One of the clearest themes in this episode is this: the earlier you talk, the better.
Kids are learning about vaping and cannabis long before middle school. That means parents need to normalize conversations about substances before their teen walks into their first party or faces peer pressure.

Instead of a dramatic “sit-down talk,” I suggest noticing things around you—someone vaping in a car, a smell in public, something seen online, and using those moments to start a low-pressure conversation.

Why Your Teen Needs You as Their Safe Person

Parents often worry that if they tell their teen to “call no matter what,” they must promise zero consequences. Not true. The message is:

“Call me. I will get you. I will keep you safe. And tomorrow, we’ll talk about what happened.”

Teens are far more likely to reach out in a crisis if they feel supported rather than judged. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s connection.

Signs That Curiosity Is Becoming a Problem

Here are some warning signs of problematic substance use in teens:

• Increasing frequency or intensity
• Withdrawing from activities they used to enjoy
• Isolation or secretive behavior
• Major shifts in mood, hygiene, or routines
• Falling grades or skipping classes
• A dramatic change in their friend group
  

Parents who know their teen well will feel the “something is off” instinct. Trust that feeling.

Walk Beside Your Teen, Not Ahead or Behind

Allison shares a powerful visual:
If you walk ahead of your teen, you create roadblocks.
If you walk behind them, you lose sight of the warning signs.
But if you walk beside them, you guide them through risk with compassion and boundaries.

That’s the heart of parenting teens through substance curiosity—and it’s what builds lifelong trust.

Additional Resources:

A couple summers ago, I hosted a video meet-up series I called “Random Acts of Parenting.”  It was sort of the precursor to the Teen Savvy Parent Hub.  My final video in the RAP series was on substance use prevention for teens.  It’s about 10 mins long and is a nice complement to this week’s podcast.  You can watch here. 

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