When Melissa and I sat down to record this episode of Parenting Shrink Wrapped, she decided to flip the script and interview me about parent coaching — what it is, how I got here, and why it can make such a dramatic difference for families. And because she didn’t warn me ahead of time (true story–no prep sheets provided!), everything you’ll hear is unfiltered, honest, and very real.
How I Accidentally Became a Parent Coach
I didn’t grow up dreaming of being a parent coach. I actually started out as an English teacher because it let me talk about human behavior through books. Eventually I moved into school counseling, became a dean of students, raised my own kids, earned my clinical license, and found myself fielding calls from parents who were confused, overwhelmed, or feeling completely stuck.
What I noticed was this:
When I gave parents context for what was happening in their teen’s brain — and a few concrete changes in language or approach — situations improved quickly. Sometimes the teen never even knew I was involved.
And I absolutely loved that work.
How Coaching Differs From Therapy
I wear both hats, so I get this question all the time. Therapy digs into the deeper emotional patterns — trauma, nervous system responses, core wounds. Coaching, for me, is much more:
- Educational
- Action-oriented
- Solution-focused
- Present-tense
- Practical
If a parent needs tools, scripts, strategies, and a better understanding of the why behind their teen’s behavior, coaching is often the best fit. If the teen (or parent) needs emotional healing or clinical support, therapy is the better path. Sometimes families need both.
The Issues Parents Bring Most Often
There are two big categories I see over and over:
- “My teen’s behavior feels out of control and I don’t know how to respond.”
That could be emotional outbursts, defiance, sneaking out, risky behavior–you name it. - “I don’t want to ruin the relationship.”
Parents want to guide their teen without becoming “the enemy.”
Both are solvable. They just require the right tools.
Why I Start With the Teen Brain (Even When Parents Think They Want Something Else)
Parents usually come to me asking for help with a behavior.
But before we solve anything, I teach them how the teen brain functions — because it determines whether a behavior is a won’t or a can’t. And your approach should be completely different depending on which one it is.
Understanding this alone changes everything.
The Art of “Rolling With Resistance”
Parents typically want to block dangerous behavior. Totally understandable.
But blocking often creates a power struggle, not a solution.
I teach a different approach:
Walk with your teen toward the potential problem long enough for them to see the natural consequences and decide, on their own, to shift course. It’s uncomfortable for parents — but wildly effective.
Parenting From Your Highest Values
This is one of the core frameworks I teach in coaching.
When parents lead from values — honesty, respect, follow-through, integrity — instead of fear or control, teens internalize better decision-making and feel more trusted.
One single mom I worked with shifted from strict, rigid guardrails to a values-based approach, and over time, her teen became more cooperative, responsible, and connected to her. Their whole relationship changed.
How Long Coaching Takes
I offer single sessions, multi-session packages, and a membership. Most families meet with me every 2–3 weeks, because that gives them enough time to try new tools without feeling overwhelmed. Everything I do is virtual, so you can work with me from anywhere.
If You’re Wondering Whether Coaching Could Help…
The truth is, parents often think they have an “unsolvable problem” simply because they don’t yet have the right strategies. My job is to give you the context, tools, and confidence to navigate the teen years with more connection, less conflict, and a clear sense of direction.
If you’re curious, reach out. I’d love to talk through what’s happening in your home and see if coaching is a good fit.
Take a minute and read these other posts to help you in your parenting journey:
Parenting Shrink Wrapped Turns One: Big Lessons From a Year of Conversations About Raising Teens