There are few words that make a parent’s stomach drop faster than sexual trauma.
It’s a topic none of us ever want to face in our families, and yet, as our guest Dr. Courtney Glickman, founder of The Collective Healing Center in Annapolis, reminded us, it’s far more common than most realize.
In our latest Parenting Shrink Wrapped episode, my co-host Dr. Melissa Wellner and I talked with Dr. Glickman about how trauma shows up in kids, how parents can respond, and what real healing looks like over time.
This is a hard conversation—but it’s one every parent of teens and tweens needs to hear.
Understanding What Trauma Looks Like in Kids
When most of us think about trauma, we imagine something obvious—a child who’s terrified, withdrawn, or acting out dramatically.
But trauma in kids and teens is often subtle, easily mistaken for “normal” adolescent behavior.
According to Dr. Glickman, some of the signs of trauma in teens can include:
- Sudden withdrawal from friends or activities
- Heightened startle response or hyper-alertness
- Changes in sleep, appetite, or grades
- Difficulty concentrating or new distractibility
- Regressive behaviors (bed-wetting, clinginess, nightmares)
- Unexplained headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints
As Melissa pointed out, these symptoms overlap heavily with typical puberty-era changes. That means many loving, attentive parents might miss the signs—and that does not make you a bad parent.
As I said on the episode: these behaviors don’t form a “syndrome.” They require context, compassion, and curiosity, not guilt.
Creating Safety So Kids Can Disclose
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was about helping kids feel safe enough to talk.
Many young people stay silent because they fear upsetting their parents. As Dr. Glickman explained, she’s heard countless children say, “I don’t like how my mom looks at me now—she looks sad.”
When kids sense that their truth devastates us, they protect us by keeping it to themselves.
That’s why, even in everyday parenting moments, it’s so important to regulate ourselves first.
When your teen tells you something hard—about a failing grade, a risky choice, or a boundary crossed—take a breath. Try to stay calm and curious. Lose it later, behind closed doors if you need to.
Your steadiness communicates, “You can bring me anything.”
That’s the foundation of trauma-informed parenting long before trauma ever occurs.
What to Do After a Disclosure
If your child—or someone else’s—discloses abuse or trauma, here’s what Dr. Glickman wants you to know:
- Believe them. Your belief is the cornerstone of their healing.
- Support them. They don’t need you to fix it; they need you to be with them.
- Protect them. Take steps to ensure safety, even if that means uncomfortable conversations or mandated reports.
“Healing doesn’t mean forgetting,” Dr. Glickman said.
“It means integrating. Trauma doesn’t disappear—it becomes something that can be held, understood, and carried differently.”
Healing Is Not Linear
Dr. Glickman explained that trauma healing happens in layers. A child who seemed “better” at eight may revisit their story at twelve, or sixteen, as their understanding deepens.
That’s not regression—it’s growth.
Every time a child revisits their story with new perspective, they are integrating the experience at a deeper developmental level.
The same applies to parents. We may think we’ve processed an event, only to find new feelings surface years later. That’s part of being human, not a failure in healing.
Why the Parent-Child Relationship Is Central to Recovery
Research shows that a single supportive adult relationship can dramatically increase a child’s resilience to trauma.
Even if the worst has happened, even if your family has been shaken to its core, your relationship with your child can still be the vehicle for healing.
That doesn’t mean perfection. It means showing up—consistently, lovingly, and with belief.
As I said in the episode, believing, supporting, protecting, and loving are not just responses to trauma; they are the ingredients of every healthy childhood.
If You Suspect or Know a Child Has Been Abused
If this topic hits close to home, please don’t navigate it alone.
Seek out trauma-informed professionals. Ask directly whether the therapist has specialized training in child sexual trauma and bottom-up approaches (like play, art, sand tray, and somatic therapies).
For immediate help or guidance:
- RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – 1-800-656-4673 | rainn.org
- Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline – 1-800-422-4453 | childhelphotline.org
- The National Child Traumatic Stress Network – nctsn.org
You Don’t Have to Face This Alone
If you or your child have lived through trauma, know this: healing happens in relationship. It happens in the quiet moments of presence, in being believed, and in knowing you’re not alone.
You can listen to the full conversation with Dr. Courtney Glickman on Parenting Shrink Wrapped
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