Back-to-school tips for elementary kids can make the difference between a smooth transition and weeks of stress—for both children and parents. In our latest Parenting Shrink Wrapped episode, Melissa and I sat down with child therapist and school counselor Jennifer Ruef to talk about what really happens in the elementary years, from kindergarten all the way through fifth grade.

Jennifer brings more than 15 years of experience working with kids and families, and she offers practical, real-world advice on how parents can support their children through these milestones without adding extra pressure.

Kindergarten: A Huge Milestone for Kids and Parents

Kindergarten isn’t just about ABCs and 123s. It’s often the first time kids are away from their parents for a full school day, navigating new routines, expectations, and even their first bus rides. Parents may feel a mix of pride and grief—pride in their child’s independence, but grief over the end of the preschool years.

Jennifer reminds us that it takes time—often a full marking period—for kids to truly settle into kindergarten. The best thing parents can do? Offer encouragement, establish routines, and give themselves permission to feel all the emotions too.

The Third-Grade Leap

Third grade is well known for its academic leap. Instead of learning to read, kids are suddenly expected to read to learn. Writing demands also increase, which can trigger frustration and perfectionism.

Socially, friendships start to shift. Kids may form tighter circles, notice peer approval, and occasionally struggle with belonging. As a parent, you may see new social challenges alongside the academic push. Supporting effort over perfection and encouraging independence during homework can go a long way.

Fifth Grade: The Tween Years Begin

By fifth grade, kids are the “top dogs” of elementary school—but they’re also standing on the edge of middle school. This year brings confidence, leadership opportunities, and stronger social identities. At the same time, kids may become more private, more self-conscious, and sometimes embarrassed by their parents (sound familiar?).

Academically, fifth grade is the perfect year to let kids practice independence before middle school ramps up. Helping them manage deadlines, stay organized, and advocate for themselves builds the executive functioning skills they’ll need moving forward.

Why These Years Matter

From kindergarten jitters to fifth grade milestones, each stage of elementary school brings its own joys and challenges. Jennifer’s biggest reminder for parents? These years are “low-stakes practice.” Mistakes, struggles, and even small failures are opportunities for kids to build resilience, confidence, and independence.

As parents, our job is not to make things perfect but to walk alongside our children as they learn, grow, and stumble forward.

🎧 Want the full conversation? Listen to the episode here

And if you missed the rest of our Nature of the Beast back-to-school series, check out:

• College Edition with Kelly Wilcox, Dean for Student Success at Haverford College. Read the blog here.
  
• High School Edition with yours truly! Read the blog here
  
• Middle School Edition with Mary Foard, longtime middle school counselor and educator. Read the blog here