One of my favorite questions to ask parents is this:
What do you want your child to believe about themselves when they leave your home?
This week on Parenting Shrink Wrapped, Melissa and I had an incredible conversation with Joe Vercellino, founder of The Lionheart Experience, and he introduced us to a word that perfectly captures the heart of parenting:
Somebody-ness.
It's the belief that your life matters.
That you have value.
That you belong.
We All Want to Feel Like Somebody
Joe shared the story of standing on a street corner as an eighth grader with nothing but a bucket and the courage to sing (and a very accommodating mom who greenlighted her son’s desire to give street performance a whirl).
When one woman crossed the street, dropped fifty cents into his bucket, and simply told him, "You're really good. You should keep going," she gave him that somebody-ness he needed.
Not because of the money.
Because she saw him.
That moment helped shape the future he would eventually build as an educator, speaker, musician, and founder of a program that has now reached millions of students.
It made me think about all the moments we have as parents to do exactly the same thing.
Confidence Starts With Connection
As parents, we often focus on building confidence.
But confidence usually begins with connection.
Children who consistently feel noticed, encouraged, and valued begin to believe they matter.
They begin to trust that their voice is worth hearing.
Their ideas are worth sharing.
Their dreams are worth pursuing.
Our Words Carry Weight
A powerful reminder from this conversation is how much influence adults have.
A single encouraging comment can stay with a child for decades.
So can a critical one.
That's why our everyday interactions matter so much.
The way we greet our kids after school.
The way we respond when they fail.
The way we celebrate effort instead of perfection.
These small moments become part of the story they tell themselves about who they are.
Somebody-ness Is Built Every Day
Helping our kids develop a strong sense of worth isn't about giving constant praise.
It's about consistently communicating:
"I see you."
"You matter."
"I'm glad you're here."
Those simple messages become the foundation children stand on as they navigate friendships, school, challenges, and eventually adulthood.
A Simple Challenge This Week
This week, take one extra moment to truly see your child.
Notice something specific.
Encourage something genuine.
Celebrate something that has nothing to do with achievement.
Because when children feel seen, they begin to believe something every parent hopes they'll carry for the rest of their lives:
"I am somebody."
And that's a lesson worth repeating every single day.
Be sure to check out these other articles on Teen Savvy Coaching